I am still building the narrative and that will likely take some time, but in the mean time I wanted to offer an example of how I process a song for the overall storyarc I have decided to name "The Cycle". If there is a different name that is already widely accepted, I apologize. I am not married to this name and will change if the need arises. Please enjoy and commune with my ritualistic offering! Thank you!
Before getting into the underlying cycle narrative that exists in this song, I'd like to reiterate how it was advertised. Prior to March 29th, which was the day everyone thought the single would release, Sleep Token linked to their *hidden* discord server on their instagram. This brought a new influx of users onto the server, stressing everyone and seeding toxicity. Then, they worked with a community member who was a weatherman at WRAL in N Carolina to release teases that only teased the next tease. This was also to seed toxicity. While the fanbase is at war with itself, they release a song that on the surface is about toxicity of fans. In spite of how the remains of the discord feel, they absolutely, as a member so eliquiently put it, "trolled" their fanbase.
The song starts out with a music box type of sound. This is a call to innocent times or even be an allusion to getting clean and moving back in with family, living in your childhood room again. This calls us into a time before Sleep. A simpler time Vessel is always chasing but can never truly find. A place he has called "Eden", before.
[Verse 1]
Count me out like sovereigns, payback for the good times
This is Vessel stating that he isn't going out with friends. He considers this payback for all the times he gave into his desires previously.
Right foot in the roses, left foot on a landmine
I'm not gonna be there tripping on the grapevine
Here Vessel is comparing sobriety to a garden and his addiction to a landmine or something to trip him up. We see this garden imagery often in Sleep Token's music. When this happens, I interpret this as a longing to go back to Eden, go back to the Genesis, go back to when the high was worth the addiction, in a way.
They can sing the words while I cry into the bassline
Vessel is saying that he is watching and allowing others to live their lives singing the melody while he is hiding in the "bassline" or background. This also shows that the constant fight against his addictions is becoming emotionally taxing. Others are able to live surface level, while he is forced to take a supporting roll he doesn't really want to be in.
Wear me out like Prada, devil in my detail
Wear me out like Prada’ suggests Vessel feels used, like a designer brand—worn out and discarded. ‘Devil in my detail’ refers to the hidden struggles that can’t be seen on the surface, the inner turmoil he’s hiding as he battles sobriety. "The devil in the details" being an idiom for hidden meaning overlooked by most people.
I swear it's getting harder even just to exhale
Addiction, whether to substances or toxic relationships, is incredibly difficult to break free from. It's hard to walk away when you’ve convinced yourself that the very thing you're addicted to is essential, even if it’s ultimately harmful. This line not only alludes to the physical pain of withdrawal, but it also symbolizes the suffocating pressure of trying to stay clean. The struggle to breathe, to just ‘exhale,’ becomes a metaphor for the overwhelming weight of staying sober and fighting against your own desires.
Backed up into corners, bitter in the lens
I'm sick of tryna hide it every time thеy take mine
Vessel is saying that he feels judged and isolated by everyone and that is making him bitter. It is getting so bad, it is apparent to him when he looks at photos of him from this time. Part of this is from guilt (he's sick of hiding it) but part is likely from the isolation bitterness of not being able to fully exist in what is considered normalcy.
[Chorus]
So stick to me
Stick to mе like caramel
When you eat caramel, you always have some stuck in your teeth and 2 options, pick it with your tongue which can get really frustrating, or let it stick there and fade on it's own. It never fully gone. We can use this interpretation to allude that this is also tied to the toxic addiction Vessel is fighting in this song. He is always going to have that addiction, stuck to him like Caramel in his teeth. Even as it shrinks in influence, it reamins growing ever less sweet, building cavities (questions or struggles) that eventually rot the host.
Walk beside me till you feel nothin' as well
In recovery, one thing that is often suggested when fighting urges is to go on a walk and allow that to clear your mind. Here we can see that to Vessel, this isn't clearing his mind, it's just numbing the problem. This could also signify that he just wants someone to share the path with him and to also walk until they feel nothin'.
[Verse 2]
They ask me, "Is it goin' good in the garden?"
This is again alluding to the genesis. This describes how people now ask Vessel, "How's sobriety going?" This isn't his "garden" or genesis, but it is one that others expecting him to view as that. Even though he is looking for his new garden, his Arcadia.
Say, "I'm lost, but I beg no pardon"
Vessel replies that it's tough and he feels so lost, but he isn't making excuses.
Up on the dice, but low on the cards
This could be about having luck, but not the luck that you want. But I interpret this line as "I am doing well with luck (dice), but anything I strategize for (cards) fails me."
I try not to talk about how it's harder now
When dealing with this kind of recovery, self blame is a common thing. But constantly saying "it's hard" can become taxing to the people you rely on. You don't feel like you should fail this much, but you can't seem not to fail.
Can I get a mirror side-stage?
Looking sideways at my own visage, gettin' worse
"Can I get a way to look at myself in this stage of recovery, because I feel like I look sick and dying."
Every time they try to shout my real name just to get a rise from me
Acting like I'm never stressed out by the hearsay
His real name is the name that Vessel doesn't use in the streets when he is chasing the toxicity he depends on. And he knows that people talk negatively about him becasue of it, but he tries to ignore what's being said.
I guess that's what I get for tryna hide in the limelight
Even the stage can't hide these things I struggle with.
Guess that's what I get for having 20/20 hindsight
The past is clear. And Vessel is trying to use that as a reason his is in the current stage he is in.
Everybody wants eyes on 'em, I just wanna hear you sing that top line
"Everybody wants attention, I'm now at the point, I'd rather watch you succeed than get that attention myself." Perhaps that person succeeding could give Vessel some sort of validation in his journey.
[Pre-Chorus]
And if you don't think I mean it, then I understand
What Vessel is referencing with "it" can be interpretted as his distaste for how fans treat him on stage, but it is also about the doubt those that know you will put on someone who is in recovery. Everything is a performance for attention even when you are simply giving your honest emotions.
But I'm still glad you came, so let me see those hands
Very strait forward. He is happy that even though you openly doubt him and his ability to overcome his struggles, showing up says that you don't view him as hopeless. So, let's enjoy and raise our hands!
After every verse, the instrumentation almost sits up. It becomes bolder, stronger, louder, more influential to your mood. By this point, if you aren't focusing on the words being sang, you'd likely be happy to dance and enjoy the rythms. This represents the growing craving that will eventually be too much to actually ignore.
[Chorus]
So stick to me
Stick to me like caramel
Walk beside me till you feel nothin' as well
This is a repeat from the earlier chorus.
I'm fallin' free of the final parallel
Vessel feels like he is finally not constantly right next to the want or urge to go back to that dependence. It's been right beside him this whole time and he can feel it beginning to let go a little bit. Or is this just a good day?
The sweetest dreams are bitter
I interpret this as the dreams that are the best are ones where he is clean and sits with that aching and longing. Knowing it's his forever.
But there's no one left to tell
I believe Vessel is either looking at the people who were using with him who could have died from bad stuff or OD. But I also see this as being in recovery, you are stuck between the friends that enabled you not being good for you, the people who are there but really over critize you, and the people who have moved on to never invest in you again.
[Bridge]
Too young to get bitter over it all
Too old to retaliate like before
Too blessed to be caught ungrateful, I know
So I'll keep dancin' along to the rhythm
Vessel isn't old enough to allow his struggles to turn bitter, but he isn't young enough to retaliate and lash out on those that keep holding him to his word to be clean. He knows that he is so blessed that being ungrateful for the chance to struggle would be viewed as wrong. So, he is going to ignore it and just keep pretending it's okay like everyone else does. This stage is a prison (Too young to get bitter over it all), a beautiful nightmare
This stage of sobriety, possibly of the cycle of addiction itself, is a prison. Inexcapable except to use. However, there is so much beauty in the world with a clean head, but it isn't enough to fight the urges. We can also see that the background vocals represent Vessel's internal monologue trying to keep him on the path of sobriety. A war of attrition (Too old to retaliate like before), I'll take what I'm given
Attrition is holding out until the other person changes. The cold war was a war of attrition. So, Vessel is saying it is a war between him and his addiction. Each holding their ground. Unsure of who will win. But he will take what he is given. This alludes to medicine. This could be karmic medicine. Like, "I have been awful. I deserve this." or it could be literal medicine meant to deal with withdrawl symptoms. The deepest incisions (Too blessed to be caught ungrateful, I know), I thought I got better
But maybe I didn't
The deepest incisions are always the most difficult to heal. No matter how much better he feels he has gotten, slipping back into dependence is a constant fight and urge. One that most end up losing at least once. This section the song changes from a very soft song to an atmospheric black metal. This can be interpretted as one of those days where the voices just won't stop screaming. You either have to find a way to hold on and ignore them or give in to their demands. [Breakdown]
(In these days of days) Tell me, did I give you what you came for?
(I wish it all away) Terrified to answer my own front door
(I thought things had changed) Missin' my wings in a realm of angels
(But everything's the same)
These lines are 2 different voices speaking over each other. I interpret the black metal scream as the urge inside of Vessel looking for an answer. Something to make the suffering warranted. "In these days of days, I wish it all away. I thought things had changed, but everything's the same." You can wish for your past to no longer be your story, but there is no way to run from who you are and what lives inside you. But if we look at the other voice, "Tell me, did I give you what you came for? Terrified to answer my own front door, missing my wings in the realm of angels." This sounds like Vessel is trying his best to fit into a system he doesn't really want to be in. He's doing the steps, he's doing the work, but he expected that to help rid him of the urge or trauma. He doesn't feel like everyone else either. He's missing his wings which kept him angelic, in the realm of everyone else being perfect and uneffected. Or could he be in a realm that isn't special, and the thing that lifted him was something that he believed put him in that angelic eschelon? [Outro]
So I'll keep dancin' along to the rhythm
This stage is a prison, a beautiful nightmare
A war of attrition, I'll take what I'm given
The deepest incisions, I thought I got better
But maybe I didn't
The outro reuses the lyrics from the bridge, but also returns to the music box sound from the opening. I interpret this differently than the opening though, because this isn't a longing of innocence or a state of innocence. This represents a feeling of starting over. Any slip, whether real or perceived when you are working up a program can cause that person to have to start all over again. Back at step one. You may think that enough time has passed that you can go back just for a night, but you soon realize, that need isn't gone. It's still there, stuck like caramel.
To be honest, this took a lot more out of me than I anticipated. But I am appreciative of the moment, for sure.
Before getting into the underlying cycle narrative that exists in this song, I'd like to reiterate how it was advertised. Prior to March 29th, which was the day everyone thought the single would release, Sleep Token linked to their *hidden* discord server on their instagram. This brought a new influx of users onto the server, stressing everyone and seeding toxicity. Then, they worked with a community member who was a weatherman at WRAL in N Carolina to release teases that only teased the next tease. This was also to seed toxicity. While the fanbase is at war with itself, they release a song that on the surface is about toxicity of fans. In spite of how the remains of the discord feel, they absolutely, as a member so eliquiently put it, "trolled" their fanbase.
The song starts out with a music box type of sound. This is a call to innocent times or even be an allusion to getting clean and moving back in with family, living in your childhood room again. This calls us into a time before Sleep. A simpler time Vessel is always chasing but can never truly find. A place he has called "Eden", before.
[Verse 1]
Count me out like sovereigns, payback for the good times
This is Vessel stating that he isn't going out with friends. He considers this payback for all the times he gave into his desires previously.
Right foot in the roses, left foot on a landmine
I'm not gonna be there tripping on the grapevine
Here Vessel is comparing sobriety to a garden and his addiction to a landmine or something to trip him up. We see this garden imagery often in Sleep Token's music. When this happens, I interpret this as a longing to go back to Eden, go back to the Genesis, go back to when the high was worth the addiction, in a way.
They can sing the words while I cry into the bassline
Vessel is saying that he is watching and allowing others to live their lives singing the melody while he is hiding in the "bassline" or background. This also shows that the constant fight against his addictions is becoming emotionally taxing. Others are able to live surface level, while he is forced to take a supporting roll he doesn't really want to be in.
Wear me out like Prada, devil in my detail
Wear me out like Prada’ suggests Vessel feels used, like a designer brand—worn out and discarded. ‘Devil in my detail’ refers to the hidden struggles that can’t be seen on the surface, the inner turmoil he’s hiding as he battles sobriety. "The devil in the details" being an idiom for hidden meaning overlooked by most people.
I swear it's getting harder even just to exhale
Addiction, whether to substances or toxic relationships, is incredibly difficult to break free from. It's hard to walk away when you’ve convinced yourself that the very thing you're addicted to is essential, even if it’s ultimately harmful. This line not only alludes to the physical pain of withdrawal, but it also symbolizes the suffocating pressure of trying to stay clean. The struggle to breathe, to just ‘exhale,’ becomes a metaphor for the overwhelming weight of staying sober and fighting against your own desires.
Backed up into corners, bitter in the lens
I'm sick of tryna hide it every time thеy take mine
Vessel is saying that he feels judged and isolated by everyone and that is making him bitter. It is getting so bad, it is apparent to him when he looks at photos of him from this time. Part of this is from guilt (he's sick of hiding it) but part is likely from the isolation bitterness of not being able to fully exist in what is considered normalcy.
[Chorus]
So stick to me
Stick to mе like caramel
When you eat caramel, you always have some stuck in your teeth and 2 options, pick it with your tongue which can get really frustrating, or let it stick there and fade on it's own. It never fully gone. We can use this interpretation to allude that this is also tied to the toxic addiction Vessel is fighting in this song. He is always going to have that addiction, stuck to him like Caramel in his teeth. Even as it shrinks in influence, it reamins growing ever less sweet, building cavities (questions or struggles) that eventually rot the host.
Walk beside me till you feel nothin' as well
In recovery, one thing that is often suggested when fighting urges is to go on a walk and allow that to clear your mind. Here we can see that to Vessel, this isn't clearing his mind, it's just numbing the problem. This could also signify that he just wants someone to share the path with him and to also walk until they feel nothin'.
[Verse 2]
They ask me, "Is it goin' good in the garden?"
This is again alluding to the genesis. This describes how people now ask Vessel, "How's sobriety going?" This isn't his "garden" or genesis, but it is one that others expecting him to view as that. Even though he is looking for his new garden, his Arcadia.
Say, "I'm lost, but I beg no pardon"
Vessel replies that it's tough and he feels so lost, but he isn't making excuses.
Up on the dice, but low on the cards
This could be about having luck, but not the luck that you want. But I interpret this line as "I am doing well with luck (dice), but anything I strategize for (cards) fails me."
I try not to talk about how it's harder now
When dealing with this kind of recovery, self blame is a common thing. But constantly saying "it's hard" can become taxing to the people you rely on. You don't feel like you should fail this much, but you can't seem not to fail.
Can I get a mirror side-stage?
Looking sideways at my own visage, gettin' worse
"Can I get a way to look at myself in this stage of recovery, because I feel like I look sick and dying."
Every time they try to shout my real name just to get a rise from me
Acting like I'm never stressed out by the hearsay
His real name is the name that Vessel doesn't use in the streets when he is chasing the toxicity he depends on. And he knows that people talk negatively about him becasue of it, but he tries to ignore what's being said.
I guess that's what I get for tryna hide in the limelight
Even the stage can't hide these things I struggle with.
Guess that's what I get for having 20/20 hindsight
The past is clear. And Vessel is trying to use that as a reason his is in the current stage he is in.
Everybody wants eyes on 'em, I just wanna hear you sing that top line
"Everybody wants attention, I'm now at the point, I'd rather watch you succeed than get that attention myself." Perhaps that person succeeding could give Vessel some sort of validation in his journey.
[Pre-Chorus]
And if you don't think I mean it, then I understand
What Vessel is referencing with "it" can be interpretted as his distaste for how fans treat him on stage, but it is also about the doubt those that know you will put on someone who is in recovery. Everything is a performance for attention even when you are simply giving your honest emotions.
But I'm still glad you came, so let me see those hands
Very strait forward. He is happy that even though you openly doubt him and his ability to overcome his struggles, showing up says that you don't view him as hopeless. So, let's enjoy and raise our hands!
After every verse, the instrumentation almost sits up. It becomes bolder, stronger, louder, more influential to your mood. By this point, if you aren't focusing on the words being sang, you'd likely be happy to dance and enjoy the rythms. This represents the growing craving that will eventually be too much to actually ignore.
[Chorus]
So stick to me
Stick to me like caramel
Walk beside me till you feel nothin' as well
This is a repeat from the earlier chorus.
I'm fallin' free of the final parallel
Vessel feels like he is finally not constantly right next to the want or urge to go back to that dependence. It's been right beside him this whole time and he can feel it beginning to let go a little bit. Or is this just a good day?
The sweetest dreams are bitter
I interpret this as the dreams that are the best are ones where he is clean and sits with that aching and longing. Knowing it's his forever.
But there's no one left to tell
I believe Vessel is either looking at the people who were using with him who could have died from bad stuff or OD. But I also see this as being in recovery, you are stuck between the friends that enabled you not being good for you, the people who are there but really over critize you, and the people who have moved on to never invest in you again.
[Bridge]
Too young to get bitter over it all
Too old to retaliate like before
Too blessed to be caught ungrateful, I know
So I'll keep dancin' along to the rhythm
Vessel isn't old enough to allow his struggles to turn bitter, but he isn't young enough to retaliate and lash out on those that keep holding him to his word to be clean. He knows that he is so blessed that being ungrateful for the chance to struggle would be viewed as wrong. So, he is going to ignore it and just keep pretending it's okay like everyone else does. This stage is a prison (Too young to get bitter over it all), a beautiful nightmare
This stage of sobriety, possibly of the cycle of addiction itself, is a prison. Inexcapable except to use. However, there is so much beauty in the world with a clean head, but it isn't enough to fight the urges. We can also see that the background vocals represent Vessel's internal monologue trying to keep him on the path of sobriety. A war of attrition (Too old to retaliate like before), I'll take what I'm given
Attrition is holding out until the other person changes. The cold war was a war of attrition. So, Vessel is saying it is a war between him and his addiction. Each holding their ground. Unsure of who will win. But he will take what he is given. This alludes to medicine. This could be karmic medicine. Like, "I have been awful. I deserve this." or it could be literal medicine meant to deal with withdrawl symptoms. The deepest incisions (Too blessed to be caught ungrateful, I know), I thought I got better
But maybe I didn't
The deepest incisions are always the most difficult to heal. No matter how much better he feels he has gotten, slipping back into dependence is a constant fight and urge. One that most end up losing at least once. This section the song changes from a very soft song to an atmospheric black metal. This can be interpretted as one of those days where the voices just won't stop screaming. You either have to find a way to hold on and ignore them or give in to their demands. [Breakdown]
(In these days of days) Tell me, did I give you what you came for?
(I wish it all away) Terrified to answer my own front door
(I thought things had changed) Missin' my wings in a realm of angels
(But everything's the same)
These lines are 2 different voices speaking over each other. I interpret the black metal scream as the urge inside of Vessel looking for an answer. Something to make the suffering warranted. "In these days of days, I wish it all away. I thought things had changed, but everything's the same." You can wish for your past to no longer be your story, but there is no way to run from who you are and what lives inside you. But if we look at the other voice, "Tell me, did I give you what you came for? Terrified to answer my own front door, missing my wings in the realm of angels." This sounds like Vessel is trying his best to fit into a system he doesn't really want to be in. He's doing the steps, he's doing the work, but he expected that to help rid him of the urge or trauma. He doesn't feel like everyone else either. He's missing his wings which kept him angelic, in the realm of everyone else being perfect and uneffected. Or could he be in a realm that isn't special, and the thing that lifted him was something that he believed put him in that angelic eschelon? [Outro]
So I'll keep dancin' along to the rhythm
This stage is a prison, a beautiful nightmare
A war of attrition, I'll take what I'm given
The deepest incisions, I thought I got better
But maybe I didn't
The outro reuses the lyrics from the bridge, but also returns to the music box sound from the opening. I interpret this differently than the opening though, because this isn't a longing of innocence or a state of innocence. This represents a feeling of starting over. Any slip, whether real or perceived when you are working up a program can cause that person to have to start all over again. Back at step one. You may think that enough time has passed that you can go back just for a night, but you soon realize, that need isn't gone. It's still there, stuck like caramel.
To be honest, this took a lot more out of me than I anticipated. But I am appreciative of the moment, for sure.
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